what i want to do today
1. go to the gym. sweat.
2. write the exercise terriblegirl sent me.
3. write essays for the seminary application.
4. lose thirty ("30") pounds.

things i don't understand
1. math. specifically the ways in which numbers interact, their various relationships and qualities. kinds of numbers. and whether or not they are real or products of our collective imagination.
2. how we really can understand one another if everybody speaks different languages.
3. how we know that animals are less smart than us. we don't know what they are saying. i'm sorry, but we just don't.
4. what the evolutionary purpose of fear is.
5. why the egyptians didn't leave a recipe for their bricks.
6. what god is trying to prove with unwanted facial hair on women.

what's new
1. grandmother is dying
2. have a new pair of shoes
3. need cat food, the good kind, the kind that prevents certain behavioral problems due to higher or better nutrition or shakti or whatever
4. mad at therapist
5. birds chirping outside
6. cat is trying to get inside shopping bag that contains said new shoes.

what i bought at whole foods last night
1. four ("4") jars of organic baby food.
2. one ("1") pound of organic french roast coffee, in the bean
3. one ("1") box of no-sugar-added muesli
4. one ("1") carton of vanilla rice milk
5. one ("1") carob-almond-raisin bar

my day so far
1. woke up to the sound of lammy horking
2. attempted to locate site of horking, with no success
3. made vain attempt at writing in god-notebook
4. engaged in pleasant yahoo! instant messenger exchange
5. thought about eating something
6. brushed hair
7. published and dispatched several emails
8. informed cats of grandmother's state of health

things i'm never doing again. ever.
1. working for a dot-com
2. working as a cashier at the park slope food co op
3. paying fifteen ("15") dollars for that cheese plate at robin des bois "gallery"

what i did today
1. received several fone calls from texan friend, informing me of the various evasive maneuvers she employed in order to deflect the attentions of a person.
2. drank pot of espresso.
3. ate rice cakes slathered in peanut and pear butter.
4. took vitamins and minerals.
5. rode golden bicycle to park slope.
6. took first self-defense class at brooklyn women's martial arts center. kicked ass, yelled, punched, felt annoyed at nervous tittering of sisters in class. think others should pay attention and shut the fuck up.
7. rode bike home.
8. purchased personal grooming services at a low price and with a good result.
9. purchased brie, animal crackers, a dozen yellow tulips, japanese treats, carr's water crackers.
10. vacuumed, neatened up.
11. showered.
12. socialized.
13. received bad news fone calls regarding grandmother's stroke and attendand familial hysteria.
14. purchased small birthday gift for sibling.
15. smoked a cigarette.
16. worried incessantly.
17. resolved to make trip tomorrow morning first thing.
18. wondered if there is a long island branch of my gym and if so, if i should bring my gym clothes.
19. tried, with no success, to resolve sims computer problems.

what i've done today
1. cleaned virus from computer
2. wrote many, many emails
3. returned fone calls
4. clarified interpersonal situation
5. deleted digits from mobile fone
6. typed letter on actual typewriter
7. ate peanut butter, pear butter on wasa cracker
8. took vitamins (multi, chelated iron, flaxseed oil, don quai, gary null's greens
9. listened to new cd, the reindeer selection and also the guru gita.
10. received insane, twisted email from rabid former siddha yoga devotee; forwarded to two trusted guru sisters
11. experienced some sadness, anger and relief
12. migrated email to netscape mail

things i need, which should really appear on the _things i need_ page, but will appear here just because i say so
1. new heart
2. new brain (with both sides working, thank you)
3. a life
4. new body

what i've done so far today
1. rectify park slope food co op situation: i only owe two ("2") shifts; got myself put on saturday evening work shift so as to be on same shift as spiritual friend chaya
2. compose important bidness email; send
3. make important career-training fone call
4. go to gym, where i performed forty ("40") minutes of cardiovascular exercise, fifty ("50") crunches, and various bi- and triceps movements as advised by queryne, who should move the fuck back to new york and stop fucking around in l.a.
5. purchase cat food with omega vitamins
6. feed cats
7. prepare healthy lunch of miso soup and baked, stuffed tofu.
8. agree to pro bono writing assignment for nonprofit organization
9. check mail, email

this week
1. gym: every day
2. meditate: 20 minutes/day, every day
3. conclude essential bidness transactions early in week
4. go to board of ed to begin becoming-a-teacher process
5. go to library on 23rd street to return coen brothers book, pay fine, locate how-to manual about photoshop
6. research training programs relating to (5) above
7. call dentist to reschedule cleaning
8. contact candace booth for nutritional guidance
9. finish web project
10. attend to grooming tasks, some of which are personal and some not so personal
11. drop off laundry
12. drop off dry cleaning
13. pick up laundry
14. pick up dry cleaning
15. make amends with food co op

what i bought at the health food store today
1. honey wheat pretzels
2. baked, not fried, chexlike mix
3. tofu, the puffy kind i like
4. tofu, baked and stuffed
5. tea tree soap
6. tea trea, sea vegetable toothpaste
7. miso soup packets, instant

what i did at the gym today
1. changed
2. exercise bicycle, 30 minutes, alternating between my own mix tape and the nysc network
3. treadmill, 20 minutes, walking briskly followed by a 2-minute cool-down, to my own mix tape
4. crunches, 25, on the large mint-colored ball, as instructed by pal corinne
5. crunches, 25, on the mat
6. triceps motions, 3 sets of 12, with 8-pound free weights
7. biceps motions, 3 sets of 12, with 10-pound free weighs
8. shower, wash hair with own bumble & bumble product, apply kiehl's almond, milk and honey scrub
9. steam room, 5 minutes
10. shower, full-body moisturize, weigh self, dress

what i've eaten in the last two days
1. rice (with curry, coriander, basil, garlic)
2. chickpeas
3. tofu (pan fried in above spices plus fresh ginger)
4. organic, baby bok choy
5. coffee
6. tonic of garlic, ginger, red pepper, lemon juice
7. salad of mixed baby greens, organic, with simple extra virgin olive oil - lemon juice vinaigrette, sea salt, fresh peper
8. tuna, white albacore

postmortem on yesterday's to-do list, with comments, statistics and hypotheses

what i would like to do today, a numbered list whose numbers are for aesthetic and not hierarchical purposes
1. meditate for at least twenty ("20") minutes -->not done
2. go to gym and perform cardiovascular exercises for at least thirty ("30") minutes and exercises that focus on a muscle group yet to be determined -->not done
3. make bidness calls, some of which are essential and confidential and as such the nature of which will not appear on this web site, a public document not protected by a password -->done
4. purchase many vegetables and fruits -->not done
5. prepare healthy, gorgeous meal that tastes good -->done
6. attend and view a movie locally ->not done
7. create a list of those i must forgive however grievous their offenses may be, knowing i only have to be willing and spirit will take care of the rest -->not done
8. write a heartfelt note withdrawing from the peace circle. i am not digging it. -->done

done: 3 of 8 possible list items
rla (rate of list accomplishment): 40
analysis: list too long. rla must improve. we are shooting for better than 60

addition to lucretia's tom petty list
free falling
don't do me like that

what i would like to do today, a numbered list whose numbers are for aesthetic and not hierarchical purposes
1. meditate for at least twenty ("20") minutes
2. go to gym and perform cardiovascular exercises for at least thirty ("30") minutes and exercises that focus on a muscle group yet to be determined
3. make bidness calls, some of which are essential and confidential and as such the nature of which will not appear on this web site, a public document not protected by a password
4. purchase many vegetables and fruits
5. prepare healthy, gorgeous meal that tastes good
6. attend and view a movie locally
7. create a list of those i must forgive however grievous their offenses may be, knowing i only have to be willing and spirit will take care of the rest
8. write a heartfelt note withdrawing from the peace circle. i am not digging it.

first list of 2002
thanks to lucretia who provided this amazing! list of tom petty songs she is listening to today at her boring, suck-ass job!
(lightly edited for capitalization)

you got lucky
refugee
a woman in love
i won't back down
into the great wide open